Archive for January, 2013

  1. First buy yourself a notebook – nothing so beautiful you don’t want to write in it!
  2. Take up your pen and write from the heart
  3. Don’t fuss about grammar etc. Keep going – don’t stop to correct or edit
  4. Express and release all those emotions, fears, and anger sloshing about inside. Write and release to avoid the bad effects of keeping these feelings bottled up.
  5. Write until you feel you can’t write any more – write till you’re exhausted of feeling. Don’t be arbitrary eg. Morning pages (3 pages, every morning etc) Write when you feel so full you may burst if you don’t do something!
  6. Use your journal as your sounding board, the counselor in your pocket, say anything you like to your journal – it will not judge you.
  7. Writing in your journal is a way you can safely yell at your ex-spouse  – create the letters you’d like to send but never will. eg to your ex’s new lover, inlaws. This is your arena for a fight.
  8. The only rule is to date each entry  (The Date rule may help in court but will also help you review your progress.)
  9. Use your journal to record any physical symptoms – BP, rapid heart rate, fast breathing, energy level etc This way you are using your journal as a well-being tool.

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Who are divorce & separation coaching clients? Well, I think of them as healthy people, capable of action and taking decisions. Not unwell. And not impaired emotionally, morally and mentally by their experiences.  So why do they need help? Because they are in extreme distress. They are very, very sad. And because of that, they may need the support of a coach – even for a short while, just to get them over the ‘bad bit’ so they can envision their futures and start building them. My clients are not ill. They do not need pills or therapies the GP has no time to give them. They are the distressed well. And they deserve to have respect and someone on their side.

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